These places aren’t meant to treat people

The staff were lovely but quite a few were students who were just put on a placement there randomly and often would say some triggering things. Most of the staff weren’t trained in eating disorders. It did say that it was autistic friendly in the brochure but I would disagree. My room was locked 13 hours a day and I wasn’t allowed back in unless to go to the bathroom. This might not sound that bad to you but this fact alone made it like hell for me. The autism specialist therapist was extremely condescending and seemed to believe that autism = a mental state of a literal 2 year old who’s brain is mush or something. Wish I was exaggerating.

I’m not going to lie, it was quite a competitive environment. As we were all in close quarters and unable to get away from one another, as soon as someone else was struggling, everyone else suddenly was too. Multiple times a day we would be put in a side room whilst someone was tubed, being able to hear their screaming and cries. I once witnessed someone who was about to be tubed roughly pushed to the side and treated like an actual animal. But I’m sure that’s prolly the same in most places. I was basically ignored most of the time in favour of the ‘worser’ patients, I understand why but eating disorders are very competitive and this would only make the environment and dynamics between patients worse.

If I’m honest, I don’t have a problem with this place. I have a problem with the treatment centres in general. I will only ever see them as half a solution. And, in this case, half a solution is worse than none at all. They aren’t made to treat people. They are made to house people to keep them alive, indefinitely.